if you like me you must not know who I am
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
