The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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