Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
