Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
