toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
