Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
