Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
