it's not cheating when I paid for it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
