tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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