Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
