i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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