Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
