The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
