The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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