you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
