I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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