I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
