it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize