But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
