just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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