Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
