I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She even gives head with a lisp.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
