can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
