I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
