I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We smell like vodka and hangover
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