Too much gin, very little bucket
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
