One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
