The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I supernannyed him into submission
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
