she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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