Girls should come with a carfax report
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My ass is underappreciated
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
