I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize