i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
