pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
