i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
