No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
