I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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