Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
