My first STD was from a foam party
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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