I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
