Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
