Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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