i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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