the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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