Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
