Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
