and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
