he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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