I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
