Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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