Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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