remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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