i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
