so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
