I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
