lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i love accidental penises.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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