I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
