Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i came on her dog
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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