It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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