that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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